Photos courtesy of Selina Zhong Tamon and I got married almost two weeks ago. Even though we’ve lived together for more than a year now, I feel a change — a good one. I still use my maiden name by accident … Continue reading
This post is all about gratitude, folks. 🙂
Okay, so you may be thinking, Isn’t like a wedding already a treat for the bride? I mean, she gets her makeup and hair did, dresses up like a princess, doesn’t lift a finger all day and marries Prince Charming and gets the spotlight on her for 8-10 hours. For one day, she’s a movie star.
Yes, imaginary guest, your hypothetical thinking is correct. However, planning a wedding is no piece of cake. In theory, it sounds really fun and validating for the narcissistic types. But when you start getting into the nitty-gritty of planning/budgeting/compromising from the moment you realized you’re getting married to the day of the wedding it can become stressful and tedious. I mean who knew you needed to pay for all these things just for the venue? Or that you have to have two garters, one to keep and one to toss? And that some flowers are seasonal and just not available when you have your wedding so you’ll have to come up with a Plan B (I’m not a botanist)? And let’s not even go in to what happens when a bride-to-be hears about a natural disaster in or around her venue on her wedding day…
I think this goes for any bride but I’d also admit it’s especially hard for those on a tight budget because having a little cash to throw around and outsource menial tasks usually helps ease the pain. But I don’t want to say that if I had a $40,000 budget it would make it any easier. During the course of wedding planning, most brides-to-be probably get that tunnel vision in which they become so focused on the big day they forget to enjoy themselves in the present.
Here’s where I make my appeal to all other brides-to-be. Treat yo self. My bridesmaid Katherine Chiu introduced me to the phase via a necklace she made for GlamKat www.etsy.com/shop/GlamKat. The phase, taken from the TV show “Parks and Recreation,” is hilariously brilliant and appropriate for my current situation.
Budgeting is like dieting — if you crash-budget you might end up going cray cray. I know because Tamon has had to deal with my moments of crazy at least three or four times last month (I’m a first-time extreme couponer and it hasn’t been pretty). I appreciate the fact that he hasn’t run away yet when he catches my eyes taking on that glazed look of poorly contained rage when I don’t get my 10 percent off discount.
One thing he has been particularly good at is reminding me to reward myself for sticking to the budget. We’ve both been carefully saving up a future down payment on a house and this upcoming wedding so it’s hard to justify splurging on extras right now. It’s also harder and slower to save extra because of the fact that we’ve both moved out of our parents’ houses and are now paying rent.
Instead of feeling constrained and stressed by these restrictions, I’ve been encouraged by Tamon to reward myself in little ways. Since I shouldn’t drop $4,000 on a trip to Amsterdam, I’ve opted for some more manageable presents like summer clearance shoes or a sweetheart dress from my coworker’s online boutique http://www.sincerelysweetboutique.com/.
Buying something heavily discounted but functional like shoes and clothes creates small but everyday moments of happiness. And supporting your entrepreneurial friends’ budding business serves a wonderful dual purpose. As my dance instructor Sienna Spalding points out, When you feel beautiful on the outside, it makes it easier to feel beautiful on the inside. So ladies (and gentleman), instead of focusing on making your wedding day the most beautiful, happiest day in your life; strive to make every day just as special.
TREAT YO SELF.
I’m working with Mithi’s ultra talented sister Kit for a wedding cake. Her sister has done some amazing work; check out her website at https://www.facebook.com/cupkits. I’ve tasted and seen some of her creations before and I’ve always wanted to order from her. Bonus: She’s an expert on filipino desserts so I’m requesting some tasty treats. Talked to her today and she had some excellent ideas.
Tamara is making our cake topper. Doubly excited.